11 Comments

  1. cynthia
    cynthia June 22, 2013 at 11:03 am | | Reply

    Thank you for your show After the Forgetting. A subject close to my heart since both my mother and father have and had Alzheimer’s. Going through this experience with my parents did reframe my life and continues to. Mom is now 91. Dad was fortunate enough to live out his life and die at home. I was blessed to be with him. Sadly my Mom was institutionalized against all my protests. She lives far away now, so when I visit I stay long hours within the institution and know it from the inside. Like Greg said, one must have an advocate there. It has been both horrifying and enlightening to witness. I know the good aides from the bad and see how the system is broken. All the mothers in the Alzheimer’s ward have become my mother. I meet them where they are because I know they are still there. They in turn reach me in a very profound way. The two distinctly different ways my parents have had to live out their lives with Alzheimer’s has given me a deep glimpse into humanity and many stories in my heart.

  2. Barbara
    Barbara June 22, 2013 at 11:39 am | | Reply

    THis is a rare and beautiful love story of a family confronted with Alheimer’s dementia.. I choked on my coffee this morning from tears in the listening of it. Greg’s depiction of his mom in days of his youth and as she is now is just priceless. Great interview, very natural and I loved the music!

  3. Dick
    Dick June 22, 2013 at 6:48 pm | | Reply

    Another great program full of wisdom rarely heard on the air. If I get dementia, I hope I get the love and attention Marj gets.

  4. Eva
    Eva June 22, 2013 at 8:15 pm | | Reply

    Dear Erica, Greg, Bob and Marjorie,

    Thank you so much for the gift of this conversation/exploration/meditation on love, loss, letting go and what survives all of the cognitive losses…the essence. Greg, your flexibility in following your mother where she goes, rather than grasping onto a fixed idea of who she must be, was breath taking and inspiring. What an act of generosity to all concerned. I’m sure it has not all been easy.

    One of the things which kept standing out to me was how Marjorie seems absolutely clear and trusting of her relational world. Her emotional wisdom appears quite intact and trustable, though her capacity to process things cognitively is hugely compromised. We make so, so much of those ideas, of the ability to form and express concepts, remember names, places, times. And then “poof” they vanish, but her humanity has not.

    The production had amazing depth, and more true emotional intelligence than I have ever experienced in a radio program. That seemed true both because of the extraordinary capacities of the subjects, but also due to the sensitivity of the interviewer and the fabulous editing.

    Thank you again,
    Metta
    Eva

  5. Jones
    Jones June 24, 2013 at 11:29 am | | Reply

    You are so good! These are so good. Thanks so much for carrying the radio torch so beautifully into the world.

    In youth (and adult!) radio solidarity,

    Jones

  6. Bob Hooker
    Bob Hooker June 24, 2013 at 4:02 pm | | Reply

    WOW! Of course I have heard part one of this show several times, part two was also a great piece of radio!

    As Greg has said so well… we will carry our mothers with us for a long, long time to come.

    For weeks after my Mom passed I thought about her practically at every turn of every day. And I realized (sometimes with Greg’s help) just how much like her I am… the way that I go about my work in the kitchen, the things I say, the phrases I use, even in my body language… until I realized that although she is gone she is still very much with me… inside… in spades!
    Bob

  7. Tonio
    Tonio June 24, 2013 at 9:19 pm | | Reply

    Erica, very interesting and wonderful combination of interview and letting Greg’s genius rumble on poetically, touching upon such a depth of essential human experience and profound wisdom, with such understatement.
    Thank you

  8. anne
    anne June 28, 2013 at 12:00 am | | Reply

    Heartfelt presentation, quiet, peaceful, pleasant voices. Marjorie remained happy throughout and friends/family could see her inability to process reality but remained satisfied to leave her reality as it was at this time. How different it might have been for Marjorie and her son if he tried to convince her that the year was 2013 and all that she knew was gone. “Reality Orientation” never proved to be a positive therapy, and it is evident to see why.
    Beautiful program, thank you.

  9. Patience
    Patience September 14, 2016 at 8:57 am | | Reply

    My son just encouraged me to listen to both parts of after the forgetting. My mother died several years ago and had dementia. There were many parallels with Greg’s mother, especially her strong personality, love and humor which managed to co-exist with her increasing dementia.

    This interview brought tears and joy to both my son and I. It was beautifully done and filled with the Spirit of Life.

    Thank you.

  10. Anita de Waard
    Anita de Waard October 7, 2016 at 2:05 pm | | Reply

    I just sent this beautiful program to my family to listen to: it reminds me very much of the time we spent with my father, who suffered from dementia and died in 2008. Like Greg, I feel so fortunate to have been able to spend time with him, when he was already quite far gone in his dementia. People I talk about this with sometimes don’t believe me: they have been lead to believe that every aspect of dementia is horrible, and should be avoided. I am so glad your moving story shows the beautiful other side of this disease (though of course, as you say, it’s no picknick and you wouldn’t wish it on anyone!)

    My father (http://www.hdw.fmf.nl/index.cgi?file=hendrik.html), too, was a wonderful man, and much of his lovely and lively character shone in a whole new light when dementia sanded away some of the sharper edges of his character. My sister was always a bit in awe of him, because he was a fiercely intelligent and analytical person. She said that her favorite moment with my dad was when he was at home, being taken care by excellent home-health care nurses, and she walked in the room. My dad suddenly lit up, and beamed at her, and said to the nurses, as he pointed to his daughter: “That is a very, very good friend of mine” For this old-fashioned Dutchman, that was as close to saying ‘I love you’ as he could ever get. Another time I will always cherish is the moment when it was time to go to sleep, and I was at home, my mother had already gone upstairs (where their bedroom was), when I said “Well, it’s time to go to bed now!” He looked at me a bit shocked, and said in a voice tinged with regret: “You know, I’m actually married…” I still miss him, but have the feeling that I got to know him in a way that I never would have otherwise.

    Again thank you for this beautiful program. Your mother and your husband’s mothers are very, very lucky to have such wonderful sons. All the best, from Jericho, VT.

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